It’s been a tough year for the characters of Riverdale in season 4, so hopefully Santa can help them out this Christmas.
Riverdale season 4 has been one of the craziest yet, and none of our favorite characters are in a great place heading into the next half of the season.
Veronica’s in a never-ending power struggle with her father, Archie is trying to save the town in all the wrong ways, Betty is dealing with her dark side, Cheryl’s mom has been torturing her via creepy doll, and Jughead may or may not get murdered by his friends.
Related: Riverdale season 4 needs to go back to school
Luckily, Christmas is a time for giving, and we hope Santa can give these characters a chance at making things better over the course of the rest of Riverdale season 4. If Archie, Veronica, Cheryl, Betty and Jughead wrote letters to Santa this year, here’s what we think they would ask for!
Archie
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, all I really want is to help more of the kids that come to my community center. To do this more effectively, I would really appreciate one of the following:
- A radioactive spider
- Bruce Wayne’s money
- Super soldier serum
- Gamma radiation
- A mythical hammer
- Telekinetic powers
Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. Anyone of these things will make this vigilante gig that I’m definitely not dropping any time soon a lot easier. Also, I’m not sure if you know, but my dad died this year, so if you ever wanted to hang out or fix up an old sleigh, that would be cool.
Your pal, Archie
Veronica
Daddy Santa,
God and Gucci willing, this will be the year that I finally liberate myself from this tired dichotomy of daddy, daughter and reclaim my rightful place above the mantle at the Pembrooke. To achieve my noble ends, I will need just a few accoutrements on top of my usual order of Manolo Blahniks. I would love to see the following trinkets in my Bean & Beluga stocking this year.
- A beginner’s guide to patent law
- A devilishly delicious recipe for rum
- A liquor license for La Bonne Nuit
- A one-ticket away from Riverdale for Herm-evil
Smooches, V
P.S. Please bring mother a new Glamergé egg. When she ceases to be boring by aiding Daddykins in turning Riverdale into Gotham City, she will deserve something pretty.
Cheryl
Darling Santa,
As Mumsy serves her sentence in the bunker for being crazier than a serial killer on bath salts, it’s time for me to focus on the new, more fabulous year ahead. Kindly don’t wake up my sweet Nana Blossom when you drop off these gorgeous goodies to Thistlehouse.
- More extravagant dresses. It doesn’t matter what style or color (although I’m partial to red). Everything looks good on me.
- Freeze dried foods and a lumpy mattress. I don’t want Mumsy getting too comfortable.
- Something fabulous for my sensational TT.
- My Vixens. There are no Vixens without moi!
Also, I’m in the mood for chaos this Christmas. So please send anything to Ginger to spice things up in Riverdale. Tootles!
XX, Cheryl Bombshell
Betty
Hi Santa,
I hope you’re having fun in the North Pole this year with the elves and the reindeer. Kill Dark Betty. You guys always do such a great job bringing Christmas to everyone. We really appreciate it. Kill Dark Betty.
I don’t need anything for Christmas this year. I just want to spend time with Jughead and my family. Kill Dark Betty. As usual, my mom and I are going through some weird stuff, but I still love her the most. Kill Dark Betty. I’m also glad that Charles will be spending the holidays with us. I’m really starting to like him. Kill Dark Betty.
Also, Kill Dark Betty. I keep having these weird visions of tangerines. I’m sure it’s nothing. Kill Dark Betty. Kill Dark Betty. Kill Dark Betty.
See you soon!
B
Jughead
Santa,
It was a dark and stormy night when I decided to pen a letter to man who brings the most joy at this festive time of year. As the sun set over the pillars of Stonewall Prep, visions of Christmas wishes rose to take its place along with the thunder clouds that would signal yet another ominous eve in Riverdale.
I sit pondering in the room I share with the ghosts of friends past and enemies future. What gifts would bring the merriment and brightness characteristic of this sometimes cruel season?
First, I ask for the perfect gift for the woman who lights my nights. My sun and stars, Betty Cooper.
Second, I ask for the inspiration to pen the next great Baxter Brothers mystery, and the path to salvage the legacy of Forsyth P. Jones.
Last, I ask for some quality time with my father. I’m not sure why, but I fear the tides are turning against me, and I have a sneaking suspicion that this Christmas could be my last. To not spend time with him now, would be a tragedy rivaling Shakespeare’s own.
Thoughtfully yours,
Jughead
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